In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
We continue our discussion on Islamic etiquette, specifically drawing from the wisdom of the infallible Ma'sumin (peace be upon them) and their conduct in the face of disrespect. In this section, we delve into the fruits and blessings of Adab—the profound results and benefits that manifest in our lives.
We have previously defined Adab as the set of principles and rules that guide a person's actions towards their ultimate purpose, imbuing them with beauty and grace. This is much like how ethics (Akhlaq) influence and beautify a person's soul and inner self. While Akhlaq pertains to the qualities of the soul, Adab relates to the qualities of our actions.
The Interplay Between Inner Character and Outward Action
There is an intrinsic link between action (fa'il) and the doer (fail). Every action originates from the human soul, the true doer. The qualities of our actions inevitably affect our soul, just as the qualities of our soul affect our actions. A person with a corrupt inner character (su' al-khulq) will naturally produce corrupt actions. Conversely, someone possessing beautiful character (husn al-khulq) will perform good deeds.
This relationship is reciprocal. If a person's actions are consistently marked by poor etiquette, it will eventually corrupt their inner character. On the other hand, if one's actions are adorned with sublime and beautiful etiquette (Adab-e-hasanah), it will positively impact their personality, cultivating sublime ethics within them.
Adab is a fundamental asset for a human being. It not only ensures our actions are purposeful and beautiful but also bestows upon us countless other blessings and goodness. If we truly paid attention to the fruits of Adab, we would never abandon it.
Here, we will explore some of the profound effects of Adab as mentioned in the traditions.
1. The Graceful Veil: Adab Conceals Our Weaknesses
The first quality highlighted in the hadiths is that Adab serves as a covering for a person's weaknesses. When all of a person's actions are performed with proper etiquette, their inherent flaws and shortcomings are veiled from others. These weaknesses, which may be known to the individual, are not exposed publicly. This is especially crucial for flaws that, if revealed, could lead to disgrace, humiliation, and ruin.
The best way to conceal one's weaknesses is to be a person of Adab. This beautiful conduct acts as a shield, hiding those faults.
A tradition from Amir al-Mu'minin (Imam Ali, peace be upon him) states:
"Hasan al-adabu yasturu qubh al-nasab."
(Good manners conceal a flawed lineage.)
Human beings have many types of weaknesses. The hadith points to one example: a flaw in one's lineage (nasab). A person's faults can stem from various sources:
Lineage (Nasab): Sometimes, a person may come from a family with a "bad name" or a history of disgrace.
Family Status (Hasab): This refers to the virtues and qualities inherited from one's ancestors, which can also be a source of shame if they are negative.
Personal Actions: Flaws can also arise from an individual's own character and actions, even if they come from a distinguished family.
The Holy Qur'an gives us the example of Prophet Nuh's son, who came from the noblest of lineages yet was corrupt in his own thoughts and actions. Similarly, the Children of Israel, descendants of prophets, had a very high lineage but committed heinous acts like killing prophets, concealing the truth, and distorting God's religion.
Conversely, individuals can be born to parents with a bad reputation—for instance, a thief or a drunkard—yet grow up to be righteous and pious. The Qur'an alludes to this with the verse, "He brings the living out of the dead, and brings the dead out of the living." A "dead" person (spiritually corrupt) can emerge from a "living" one (righteous), like the son of Nuh, and a "living" person can emerge from the "dead," like a righteous child born to misguided parents. Humans are not bound by the laws of heredity in the same way animals are; we have free will to shape our own destiny.
Whether the flaw is in one's lineage or within oneself, Adab has the power to conceal it. If a person from a disgraced family possesses excellent etiquette—in speech, interaction, and daily conduct—that familial flaw is hidden. People forget about their background because their beautiful manners overshadow everything else. Conversely, a person from a noble family who is ill-mannered will find that their family's good name is of no help; their lack of Adab becomes their defining feature.
2. A Shield from Error: Adab Reduces Mistakes
The second fruit of good etiquette is the reduction of stumbles and errors. Adab not only conceals our faults but also protects us from making mistakes. In a way, it bestows upon us an acquired form of infallibility (masumiyyat). This is similar to Taqwa (piety), a quality one cultivates within oneself that protects from sins and errors.
People who frequently stumble, often unintentionally, are usually those who are not mindful of Adab. By observing proper etiquette, a person can achieve immunity from mistakes and slips.
Amir al-Mu'minin (peace be upon him) said:
"Man takallafa bil-adabi, qallat masawih."
(Whoever takes upon himself the hardship of etiquette, his evils will decrease.)
The word takallafa implies willingly taking on a difficulty or hardship. It is not something forced upon you, but a challenge you embrace voluntarily. Disciplining the soul with Adab is difficult, but it is a hardship one accepts with love and eagerness. The one who bears the rigors of Adab will see their sins, mistakes, and wrongdoings diminish.
In a supplication, Sayyid al-Shuhada (Imam Hussain, peace be upon him) says, "O God, the one whose good deeds are themselves evils, how can his evils not be evils?" This profound statement refers to the fact that even our acts of worship, if performed with negligence, disrespect, and lack of proper Adab, can be counted as misdeeds in the court of God. Our prayers, performed absent-mindedly, are a form of disrespect. The gnostics used to say that while common people seek forgiveness for their sins, they seek forgiveness for their acts of worship. This is because these acts often lack the sincerity and humility that constitute true servitude.
The Polishing of the Soul: The 'Hardship' of Training
There is an old saying among scholars that a person who has undergone the "rubbing" of education and training becomes something great. Those who avoid this process amount to nothing.
Think of a jewelry shop. The most beautiful, exquisite, and expensive piece of gold or diamond is the one that has been subjected to the most intense polishing and rubbing. The shine you see is the result of that friction.
Similarly, when you see a personality that shines with the brilliance of character and intellect, like Imam Khomeini, know that this individual has undergone the most rigorous "rubbing" and discipline. Any successful person, in any field, has endured the hardships of training under a teacher or a mentor. The best mentor is one who knows how to apply this "educational rubbing"—assigning difficult tasks to their students to build their character and skill.
This is precisely what Imam Ali (peace be upon him) refers to when he says that whoever willingly accepts the hardships of Adab will see their flaws diminish. By embracing this beautiful struggle, we polish our souls, protect ourselves from error, and conceal our imperfections under the graceful veil of divine etiquette.
Syed Jawad Naqvi
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